Book III opens two weeks after the final betrayal and abandonment from Jason, which was so profoundly traumatic that I am still recovering to this day. I meet Kris, who saved my life, and whose disappearances hurt me even more. As little as I ultimately blame Jason, I blame Kris even less. We met as brothers in wartime, and he lost his battle, yet I did not. He probably killed himself. I will miss him forever.
I am watching a beautiful, long, eel-like fish swim through the creek.
I am in a mall parking lot with my mother, beside broad fields, with hills in the distance. A creek flows beside the lot, and within swim many fish. I am delighted, and want to stay and catch them, and my mother suggests we camp here for the night. I agree. The scene shifts and I see a beautiful forest house, and I recall something about a child who wouldn't speak, who flew after me as I soared through the fields. He kept unintentionally starting trouble.
My aquarium somehow killed all my fish and plants. I was devastated and blamed myself. I see scenes of Jason, Kris, and I, together. I was afraid to speak, and still grieving over my fish. I missed jason, and my family was smothering and neglecting me. I peer into the aquarium and see that some fish are still alive, to my horror. Such suffering. I add more water. I wake into another nested dream. The aquarium had transformed into a beautiful and vibrant tank.
The nested dreams are increasing in frequency, confusing me ever more if I am awake or not. But I know that there is no reality where I am safe again, so I err on the side of caution.
I am saving a little girl. We lay in bed, naked, at grandma's house, as her father(my father?) threatens us with a gun. I shoot him in the head, and gore splatters all over us.
Virgil and I are fighting a cougar, and I have to stab it, but am crying and saying I can't do it. The cougar is now Virgil, and my father says he will kill him, and will flay the skin around the heart where Virgil will be stabbed. I beg him not to, sobbing, and thrash awake yelling 'Stop!'
I am the patriarch of an extended family. I take care of them; we live in a crumbling mega-city, in a house that floats on water. It is a perfect family in a dilapidated house, stitched together, and yet a beautiful vestige of the past of humanity. The government is threatening us, saying that the house is unsafe for babies. I am afraid for my family.
I am entering an iconography store from a very crowded street. I think of Kris. At that moment in reality, he messages me for the first time today, and tells me it hurts physically to be awake. I can't bear to hear it and cut myself.
I had crashed my car into a muddy river and drown.
I was in a church/schoolroom, punishing a boy. He was to eat 100 raw eggs, which was considered severe. At first I pinned him down and forced an egg in his mouth, but then my brother offered to improve the taste with salt and bread, defeating the purpose of a punishment. The next time he had to eat one, he sat in the pew, grim yet resolute. We understood it wasn't about just eggs, it was about exercising will and fortutide. A schoolteacher woman scoffed and didn't understand, but an older man did. He explained how it was symbolic of life as an embryo. "REMEMBER THE EMBRYO," he said. We started dancing spiritually, even though the woman found it absurd. I accidentally backed into someone dressed as a black raven. The boy carve into the pew the number twenty, for such an amount of eggs eaten.
I am riding the horse I had owned years ago in front of my grandparent's house. I had taken off the bridle and couldn't steer, but was cheerful about it. My father admonished me and said I needed a bridle, but I had left it somewhere I feared.
I had a long conversation with Jason. I know I am in a dream, and am distressed, because I don't know how much time I have left. I am disturbing nesting swans, and climb a tree to escape their anger, but they bite me. I leap onto the floating wooden cover of a pool, and ask if he is still there. "Yes." I teeter across the cover, and begin collecting shells on a shoreline. I am starting to wake up, and our conversation fragments, becoming lost as I edge towards consciousness.
I am on old family land from my childhood, in the winter fields. A man is with me, disturbing the peace. We call him an animal killer. I walk south with him, to be rid of him. I don't know where I am going except for South. We come to a society for troubled people, and I push him down the hill that I was standing atop of, overlooking. He had a snake with him, and I tossed it down as well, and went down after. He has now become the snake, and I remark that it seems tired, so I put it to bed. I am lost, and ask a woman for directions. I look at paintings, a map of where I am. It seems that my mother is not far from here. I walk north, and am halfway there. I come to an enormouse ancient oak tree I had seen on the map. On each side of it grow smaller, yet much older individuals. As I walk around them, a temple slowly manifests from the branches. It was the work of one man, and still incomplete. Primitive art was on the walls, as my mother explains to me. As I see it, I fall to my knees in emotional awe.
Somewhat 'meta,' like I am watching my own dream. I am racing down a ski slope at night with a massive storm on my heels. I am observing the dream, expecting something interesting to happen, and I hear others around me express their disinterest. The encroaching storm envelops me, and I am hurled into a white out. The wind and snow blasts around me as I ski down the mountain, towards a distant light. It is like a floating bulb with an incandescent glow, racing down the slope in front of me. I want it, need it. As I get closer, it is warm, but not comforting, and I feel pain. I am on top of it now as we tear through the forest, but I don't touch it. I say in my observation that I want to absorb it and become a blackbody. I can see myself now, glowing like magma, full of painfully hot, negative emotion.
Jason is back, but he acts as if he is still gone, like I still have work to do. He writes me a letter, with these words: TRY NOT TO DO THIS FOR ME. TRY TO WOUND LIKE AUGUSTINE.
I was catching fish in the creek. Typically I only observe them, so catching is new. There are two kinds of minnows, and a third that seems to have venomous spines, but when I touch them, it is safe.
I am with my mother on a small boat, amidst scottish cliffs. On the cliffs are runes. One looks like the rune thurisaz, with a dot in the middle(I looked this up later and did not know about runes when I had this dream). A frightened young man is there, and had a double fish head. It was like the head of a fish, and the opposing end was another fish head.